Inviting people to a memorial meal is one of the hardest messages to write, because there is no tone you can be sure of. The texts below are short and plain on purpose. Replace the names, dates and place, and keep the four required things: whom, when, where, and how to confirm.
12 texts
- “Dear friends, after the farewell we invite you to the memorial meal at [place], [address], at [time].”
- “After the funeral, the family gathers at [address] at [time]. We will be glad if you join us.”
- “Friends, on [date] it is nine days since Mum left us. We will remember her at [place] at [time]. Please let us know if you can come.”
- “Nine days — [date]. A quiet remembrance at home for the closest. If you want to come, call [name].”
- “We invite you to remember [name] on the fortieth day: [date], [time], [place]. We ask you to confirm by [date].”
- “The fortieth day will be for family only. Remember [name] in your own way. Thank you for being near.”
- “Colleagues, on [date] — forty days since [name] passed away. Those who knew [him/her] are invited to remember at [place], [time].”
- “On [date] it is half a year since [name] left us. We invite relatives and friends to remember at [place].”
- “A year since [name] left us. We remember at [place] on [date] at [time]. You are welcome.”
- “A year without [name]. We invite everyone who loved [him/her] to gather on [date]. Please confirm so we can plan.”
- “To plan the table, please tell us if you will come: [phone/chat]. Thank you.”
- (Reply if you cannot come) “I cannot come, but I will remember at home. Stay strong, we are with you.”
Sharing the cost between relatives
Add hall hire, the menu multiplied by the guest count, and shopping; keep a small reserve. Divide it among those who take part — equally or by ability. In DeliBabki each person records what they put in and the total shows who owes whom; receipts attach to each expense.
For the funeral itself see collection announcement templates and funeral notice templates.
Frequently asked questions
How do I write an invitation to a memorial meal?
Four things: whom we remember, when, where, and how to confirm. Example: “We invite you to remember [name]. The fortieth day is on [date] at [time], at [place], [address]. Please tell us by [date] if you can come.” No extra words are needed.
When are memorial meals held — at 9 and 40 days and at one year?
In the Orthodox tradition people commemorate on the day of the funeral, on the third, ninth and fortieth day, at six months and on the anniversary. The day of death counts as the first day. Other traditions and families have their own customs, so follow the family’s practice.
Should you invite people to a memorial meal in person?
Close relatives and friends in person or by phone; for everyone else a message in a chat or on social media is enough. Always give the place and time and ask people to confirm so the food can be planned.
How do you work out and share the cost between relatives?
Add hall hire, the menu for the guest count and shopping, include a small reserve and divide it among the participants — equally or by ability. DeliBabki has “Equal”, “Shares” and “By amounts” split modes: everyone contributes what they can and the total shows who owes whom.
What do I say if I cannot come?
Briefly and warmly: “I cannot come, but I will remember at home. Stay strong, we are with you.” You need not explain. If you want to help with money, send it separately — not instead of attending, and without pressure on others.
Sharing the memorial costs?
Contributions and receipts in one place; the total shows who owes whom. Free, no sign-up.
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