These messages are written at the worst possible moment, and every word will be read by the family. The templates below are deliberately neutral: how to speak about the person who died is the family’s choice, not the organiser’s.
“Dear colleagues. Elena’s husband, a participant in the special military operation, has been killed. We extend our deepest condolences to Elena and her family. The team is collecting to support the family — participation is voluntary, any amount you can. Transfers until Friday to +7 900 000-00-00 (Irina K., HR). We will share the farewell date once the family confirms it.”
What to Agree with the Family First
- Whether the news may be shared, and in what words — repeat the family’s wording.
- Which photo, if any, may be used.
- No details of the unit, location or circumstances of death.
- The farewell date — only once confirmed, as it may change.
- Whose card receives the money.
Templates
- Company email: “Dear colleagues. It is with deep sorrow that we report the death of our colleague [name], who had been serving since [year]. Management and the team express their condolences to his family. The company is providing financial assistance; colleagues who wish to contribute may contact [name], HR. We will share the farewell details separately.”
- Friends and relatives: “Friends, Marina has lost her son-in-law Andrei. The family is arranging the farewell. Olga and I are collecting help — transfer any amount to +7… (Olga D.) by Sunday and we will pass it all to Marina. Please don’t call her with questions; we will post updates here.”
- Parent chat: “Dear parents. Our classmate [child’s name] has lost his father. With his mother’s consent the parent committee is opening a voluntary collection for the family: transfers to … by [date]. Please talk to your children gently and do not discuss what happened in front of him.”
- Fellow servicemen: “Friends, our comrade [name] has been killed. His family is having a very hard time. We are collecting for his wife and children — any amount, straight to his wife’s card via +7… (Svetlana N.), until [date].”
- Public post: “Our town mourns [full name]. The farewell will be held on [date] at [time], [place]. If you would like to support his wife and children: +7… (recipient — [name], his wife). There are no other collections on behalf of the family.”
- Closing report: “Thank you to everyone who responded. 86,400 RUB was collected and handed to [name] on Monday. The collection is closed.”
Words of Condolence
Keep them short: “We share your grief”, “In loving memory”, “Please accept our deepest condolences”, “We are here if you need anything”. Avoid details of the death, political debate and questions about how it happened. In posts, a candle 🕯️ or black heart 🖤 is used; bright emoji and stickers are not.
Keeping Scammers Out
Fake collections on behalf of bereaved families are a common scam. Publish one set of payment details with the recipient’s name, confirm them with the family directly, close the collection publicly and never post full card numbers. More in how to post a public funeral fundraiser.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it appropriate to collect money for the family if the state pays compensation?
Yes. State payments are arranged through the military enlistment office and social services and take time, while costs begin immediately: relatives’ travel, the memorial meal, household needs, children. Help from colleagues and friends in the first weeks still matters. Do not discuss the payments or their size in the announcement.
Do you need the family’s consent?
Always. Ask the relatives whether the news may be shared, in what words, which photo to use and whose card to send money to. Announce the farewell date only once the family has confirmed it.
How much do people usually give?
No fixed amount is set — write “any amount you can”. In workplace collections people usually give 500 to 2,000 RUB. Participation stays voluntary, with no reminders and no lists.
What should the payment note say?
Something short and neutral: “Support for the family” or “From the team”. The family will read these notes later.
A Clear Account to Hand to the Family
If several people collect or the help is spent in parts, keep it in one free group with receipts, so the family receives a clear account.
Create Free Group